Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Good Sports

Truth-time. I’ve never bungee-jumped, snow-skied, snow-mobiled, skateboarded, hang-glided or even slid down the length of a Slip-n-Slide. I rode on the back of a motorcycle once, in the sidecar of a motorcycle once, and on a horse without someone else leading it once. As a teen I did learn to water ski—sort of—but my family still taunts me about the plume of water as I was boat-dragged, facedown, halfway across the lake.

I’m not good at sports. In fact, I’m so not-good at sports I knocked out my own front tooth playing softball. Tried golf, tennis, trampolines and gymnastics, the latter resulting in a Funniest Home Videos moment as I dangled in a highly inappropriate position on that stupid vaulting horse thing in my high school gym. It’s possible I’m a great dancer but we’ll never know, because during our second week of lessons my husband randomly threw out his back, and blamed the Swing.

Outdoor activities are just not as fun to me as writing, reading and cooking. I would love to live on the water, but not for the speed boating, skiing and Ski-dooing, another thing I haven’t tried. A poky old pontoon boat or a houseboat is more my speed—on which I could write or read or even cook! See how it all works out in Valerie-world?

What about you? Natural athlete or klutz extraordinaire? Tell me the truth. And if you have pictures—of anything but my vault on that horse thing—send those!


  1. Valerie, this is one of your funniest blogs! Love it!

  2. You look good for a klutz! I, for one, work hard at sports, but I do love it! Lately, I discovered tennis, which is played with other people - run and strength training is a lonely activity, so having people around was a good change.

  3. I feel you on the vault spectacle. My friends still talk about the time I fell during a routine on the balance beam and tried to avoid losing points for a “fall” by wrapping my legs and arms around the beam from underneath like a baby koala bear clinging to its mother’s stomach. I managed to get back up without touching the floor, but judges considered it a fall anyway. I’m thinking they must have given me something for tenacity, or at least for comic relief…