Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Public Toilet Dreams

I have deeply paranoid dreams about public toilets and huge, maze-like hotels. Recently, the two combined forces in a dream that had me trying to find my room, racing against a deadline, and dealing with terrible public toilets, as well. That’s just not fair! If one of those nefarious squirrels from another bad dream had made an appearance, I probably would not have survived to whine about it all.

I used to ask people if they have public toilet dreams. Too many people drew away as if to escape the fearful darkness that they must have thought emanated from my being, so I quit asking. But I know I’m not the only one. Just Google “toilet dreams” and see what I mean.

Some of my classics? A row of stalls with the doors cut so high that as you sit, you’re exposed from the waist down. An outhouse lying on its back, so you have to lie on your back to go. (Think about that for a second. Gross, eh?) A huge bathroom built like a stadium, with toilets in ascending rows, and no privacy anywhere.

The literature on the subject (and by literature I mean Google hits) says that toilet dreams indicate feelings of embarrassment and vulnerability. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

The maze of hotel rooms stems, I’m certain, from my inability to find my way around in the world. Coming out of a restaurant bathroom I’ll turn the wrong direction every time. Before the invention of GPS I knew only one way to get somewhere. Or maybe not even that. One memorable time prior to cell phones I was trying to drive from one mall to another without going to “home base” first. No matter what I did, I’d end up where, instead of the road I swear showed on my map, I’d be facing a lake. After three tries, I found a payphone, called John and said, “You’re going to have to move the house. I can’t find you.”

Any recurring dreams in your life? And all you public-toilet-dreamers, I know you’re out there!

6 comments:

  1. The only public toilet dream I ever remember having had to do with me being a part of the marching band, sitting in the bleachers, yet I'm an adult, so I'm not really "part" of them. I remember the toilet was in this upper row of bleachers, in an alcove to the left if you were looking at the bleachers from the field. It wasn't entirely in the alcove, though, so it was quite public. Luckily I didn't have to go, either as a teenage band member or an adult. (Also, the area was pretty much deserted, except for one or two essential staff; this was before a game. Also, the stadium was rounder, and it was more of a feel of a Roman Colliseum as opposed to a high school football game.)

    Usually, though, my dreams consist of not being able to figure out if I'm supposed to play the oboe or the clarinet, or one is broken and the other missing, or my reeds are broken, or I've forgotten to go to band class for the last 20 years and I'm unprepared for the concert or audition, depending on the dream. Then there's those that I'm in a play and I'd read the play at the beginning of the season and I had a relatively small part, but I really wanted the lead, but I still didn't study my lines and can't even remember my 2 or 3 lines in the play; I have that one a lot. And, let us not forget the ubiquitous "forgetting the locker combination" dream; my mom and I both have that one incessantly!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The only public toilet dream I ever remember having had to do with me being a part of the marching band, sitting in the bleachers, yet I'm an adult, so I'm not really "part" of them. I remember the toilet was in this upper row of bleachers, in an alcove to the left if you were looking at the bleachers from the field. It wasn't entirely in the alcove, though, so it was quite public. Luckily I didn't have to go, either as a teenage band member or an adult. (Also, the area was pretty much deserted, except for one or two essential staff; this was before a game. Also, the stadium was rounder, and it was more of a feel of a Roman Colliseum as opposed to a high school football game.)

    Usually, though, my dreams consist of not being able to figure out if I'm supposed to play the oboe or the clarinet, or one is broken and the other missing, or my reeds are broken, or I've forgotten to go to band class for the last 20 years and I'm unprepared for the concert or audition, depending on the dream. Then there's those that I'm in a play and I'd read the play at the beginning of the season and I had a relatively small part, but I really wanted the lead, but I still didn't study my lines and can't even remember my 2 or 3 lines in the play; I have that one a lot. And, let us not forget the ubiquitous "forgetting the locker combination" dream; my mom and I both have that one incessantly!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Val,

    Are they dreams or nightmares? I have a recurring nightmare and thank God it comes only once a decade. I don't remember much of it, but the snippets I do are terrifying. Suffocation, spiders, and mortal danger. Not fun.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Valerie, I have recurring restroom dreams, too! In mine, the restrooms are VERY gross and nasty (just think of the obvious filth). I'm desperate to go but unwilling to enter. In some dreams, there's the added pleasure of no privacy. Ugh!

    I don't agree with dream interpretations though. Every time I have one of these dreams, I wake up and need to go the bathroom. Just my subconscious' effort to get me out of bed

    ReplyDelete
  5. My dream-I think it's a common one-is about suddenly realizing you've missed most of a semester of classes and worrying how and if you're going to catch up. The way I know it's dream is that I'm actually worrying. I didn't do that in college.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bob, I've had the college class one, too. Not often but enough to remember it.

    ReplyDelete