Forbidden love. I confess to a mad, crazy love for
something that—because of my sex—the world views as wrong and inappropriate. I
know, this type of lust is supposed to be exclusively male, but I can’t help myself.
I refuse to hide my love despite what people think.
Yes, I’m a woman. And yes, I love my backyard grill.
Ten years ago I was complaining about our gas grill.
“Hot spots! Flare-ups! I can’t control the temperature on this thing! I need a
new grill!” John, my decidedly non-grill-lusting husband, reminded me I’d said
the same things about the previous grill, and maybe it was time to go a new
route.
A new route? Not charcoal. I didn’t have the time or
patience to wait for a charcoal grill to get ready. But he said this was
different, it was hard wood charcoal on a ceramic grill. You could maintain the
temperature, no hot spots, no flare-ups, and it took only 10-20 minutes for the
grill to be ready for cooking: the Big Green Egg.It’s expensive, but supposedly lasts forever. We had a little money to spare (yes, I was shocked, too) so we went all out and bought one.
And I fell madly, passionately in love. I’ve made
the same chicken recipe on my BGE and on the little electric countertop grill—no
comparison. I can slow-smoke a pork shoulder, grill amazing burgers, ribs, chicken,
whatever; it’s all delicious.
My only complaint? We cheaped out. When we priced
the BGE I asked John, How many kidneys do you need, really? But he went with the
medium Egg, not the large or extra-large, so when we had a gang over I had to
cook in shifts, hold items in the oven while I cooked another load. I kept an
eye on the kidney black market, but let’s face it, 63-year-old kidneys don’t
command prime prices. Finally I took a chance on a Weber charcoal grill.
The first day as I piled on the briquettes a
son-in-law looked over my shoulder and said, “Is that going to be enough
charcoal?” I said, “Yes, I counted out 50, the number the Weber grilling book
said to use for this size of grill.” He stared at me pop-eyed for a moment,
then cracked up. But it was exactly enough charcoal to cover the grid. So
there.
The Weber makes a pretty good sidekick to the BGE, and
I’ve discovered a chimney charcoal starter that shortens the wait time.
Which brings me to another illicit love, the love of
two grills at the same time. How do I defend this? In the words of the great
theologian, Lady Gaga: Baby, I was born this way.
