Monday, August 22, 2011

Bless the Dress

When I was eighteen, my mother went ballistic at me for going braless on a date. Hey, it was the early 70s and that was the style for hippie-wannabes like me. Mom and I didn’t have too many fights. I mostly behaved until about 17, and then usually snuck my bad behavior out of the house without discovery. But this time Mom caught me and got Dad involved. They said some things parents shouldn’t say to their daughter, and I’m sure I said things a daughter shouldn’t say to her parents. Not a night we talk about when we reminisce around the dinner table.

And I am over it.

But I was reminded of the event Sunday as a pretty, young girl, maybe 15-16 years old, sat in the church pew ahead of me. She had a knockout figure—a trifle full for today’s bone-thin standards, filling out her Jessica Rabbit sheath dress and then some. The dress was skimpy on both ends—strapless and mid-thigh, with ruching (a kind of gathering/tucking) at the hips, in case your eyes needed help noticing that part. I assume the conservatively-dressed woman sitting beside her was her mother. As I told my Facebook friends, I didn’t know who to slap first.

I’m not a fan of strapless or even spaghetti straps in church. I think many males have trouble following a sermon if the female in front of them is sticking her thumbs in the bodice of her dress to yank it up over her boobs again and again. Or if lingerie straps are peeking out. Or missing. Actually, I have a whole list of church no-nos: see-through clothes, mini skirts, skimpy shorts, tight tops. Also, if your full skirt has a tendency to get stuck where the sun don’t shine, wear a slip! The people behind your behind don’t want that image stuck in their heads as they rise up to sing to God.

I know short, tight and sexy is the style, but just like back in the early 70s, just because it’s in style doesn’t mean your parents should let you wear it. Especially to church.

So, gentle readers, tell me how you feel. And if my parents somehow see this, I swear I don’t go braless in public anymore.
Posted by at
Labels: , ,

5 comments:

  1. AnonymousAugust 22, 2011 at 11:47 AM

    Mom said to her daughter, "Come on we are going to party with God". So she put her partying dress on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Carole St-LaurentAugust 22, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  3. BarbaraAugust 22, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    Oh my! Valerie, it shocks me what I see on some of the young girls at church. The poor boys just don't stand a chance. I do remember hearing about a church in the 70s asking the women to not wear mini-skirts because the men serving the Lord's Supper said it kept them from focusing on their duty. Let's face it, men like to look, so let's leave it out of church...and Wal-Mart!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ali AsherAugust 22, 2011 at 6:17 PM

    I agree, mom. There was a girl about 19 years old in the praise band at a church I used to attend, and one morning she was wearing a strapless dress. She looked great in it, but I'm sure she was a big distraction, and not only for me and other women who disapproved!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Barbara V. EversSeptember 9, 2011 at 10:35 PM

    Hi Valerie, I decided to pass The Versatile Blogger Award along to you. You definitely have the versatility part going on. Congrats. Here's the info: http://aneclecticmuse.blogspot.com/2011/09/and-winner-is.html

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)